When I'm out running on the pathways that Ogden offers, I notice that there are a couple different types of people. There are the friendlies; these are the people that smile and wave and with their demeanor say, "Good job, I'm proud of you that you're out here working hard." The friendlies may be much faster than me and in better shape, but they see that I'm giving it MY best and that is enough. They don't look down on me because I'm not where they are at. They don't see me as inferior but just as someone who isn't as far along as they are. Then there are the friendlies that are struggling and maybe aren't in that great of shape. Their friendliness says, "I know it took hard work to get where you are, and I respect that." They don't resent that I'm a little further down the fitness road than they currently are. They aren't threatened by my (relative) strength.
Then there are the unfriendlies. If they're faster and better than me, they see themselves as faster and better and they want to flaunt it. If they are slower and not in shape, they are bitter that I have something they don't yet have. Now, granted that all of this is taking place inside my head, but go with me on it.
You see, I think that while this is the culture of the running path, it is also the culture of life in general.
When my kids are exhibiting a behavior that is inconsistent with who they say they want to be, I ask them, "What type of character is your behavior showing you to have right now?" In other words, is this Christlike behavior? Is this behavior that you're proud to have added to your reputation? Is this behavior in line with who you desire to be? Is this the character you want to have and be known for?
You can guess that the answer to those questions are usually "no." Well, I have to ask myself those same questions. Particularly when it comes to the question of whether or not I'm a 'friendly.' And I don't mean with regards to the running trail, but rather, in life. It is easy to talk big (outloud or just in my head) about how I want to be the type of person that is encouraging the people around me, calling them to take courage and keep running a good race. But when it comes to living that out, am I actually doing it? Or am I too busy feeling threatened by someone else's success to celebrate with them? Am I jealous that they actually put the effort in and achieved something great while I chose to sit idle, and now they're reaping what they've sown, while I....reap what I sowed. Or maybe I'm looking down on people that don't seem to be learning the same lessons that I've (supposedly) learned and my pride and arrogance has me thinking that I'm better than I really am and that I could teach them a thing or two to help them out, you know, because I've got it all figured out.
So I look myself in the eye and ask, "What type of character is your behavior showing you to have? Don't tell me what kind of person you wish you were; who are you going to show yourself to be?"
Too often, I'm embarrassed at the answer. I'm not who I want to be. But God can change that.
When I first started running outdoors (I was a treadmill-only kind of girl until a few years ago...too much pride, didn't want anyone to see what a horrible runner I was), anyway, when I first started running outdoors, I wasn't very friendly to people. There's a saying, "Better to be the one who smiled first than the one who didn't smile back." In all honesty, when I first started running outside, I was so focused on my own discomfort, my own pain, my own why-the-heck-am-I-out-here-running thoughts, that it didn't occur to me that OTHER PEOPLE might be struggling out there too! One day, I ran past an older lady on the trail. This lady was well into her senior years. She was moving at a snail's pace but her bright attitude lifted me up when I ran past her a second time on the return trip and she cheerfully hollered, "Have a great day!!" At that moment I was hating life, and then her simple words lifted me up and gave me life. She took the time to see me. I can always tell the days that I must look like I'm struggling because all of the super-athletes on the trail will holler things like, "Keep it up, you're doing great!" And those words help me to keep going.
That elderly woman helped me remember that I may not be the only one in pain out on that trail. If her words can lift me up so much, maybe my words could help someone else. It doesn't cost me anything to try! Now, rather than staying stuck in myself, my pain,when I'm running, I look forward to seeing people and saying a simple, "hello, have a great day!"
This is a lesson I've been practicing in my everyday life as well. It seems harder to remember in everyday life, thus it takes a lot of practicing. It is too easy for me to only think of myself and forget that other people are in need of encouragement every bit as much as I am, and probably more. When I take my eyes off myself and look for someone else's pain that I can ease, it helps me feel better in turn. But I don't do it for myself. I do it because it is the right thing to do.
The race of life can be hard. We need to cheer one another on and say, "YOU CAN DO THIS. It isn't easy, but keep going. You're working hard and doing your best and I see that. I'm proud of you." Nothing inspires me to keep going more than someone that is ahead of me in the race cheering me on. If they believe in me, it helps me believe in myself. I want to do that for others as well. And by the same token, when there is someone behind me in the race and they are supportive and proud of me, I want all the more to run a good race and to thus exhort them by my actions to do the same.
We need each other's encouragement. And that's okay, that's the way we were built, to need one another. So I will continue to ask myself, and my children, "Who are you going to be? Who is your character showing you to be? And is that who you want to be known as?" As for me, I want to be someone who isn't so prideful as to ever think that because I'm further along than someone else that that makes me any better. It is only by God's grace that I am where I am, nothing of myself. And I also don't want to be a person who can't celebrate other people's accomplishments. Someone else's success is not my failure. I want to be the person who can say, "Keep going. You're doing awesome and I'll run beside you until you're good again," or, "You're running a great race and I want to learn from you. You've obviously trained and I want to train with you so I can do better." I don't always do well at this, but like I said, I'm practicing and I have people on my side who are helping me do better at this; most importantly, God is changing my heart and helping me to love people better.
There's a sign that hangs in the Open Hand ministry that reads, "Life is hard, God is good. Don't get the two confused." Friends, keep going. Life can be hard, but God is always good.