Life As It Is.

Graduated Sugar.

Avery: "Mom, what's graduated sugar again?"

Me: "It's granulated sugar. It's just regular white sugar."

Just made me laugh. Graduated sugar.

On a sidenote, I think it would be pretty awesome if one of my kids became a nutritionist/dietician/physical trainer (something in the healthy living realm). That is probably just me projecting. They hear me talk about that stuff all the time and they've stored up a lot of information about trans fats, preservatives, why not to eat fat-free foods, organic vs. conventional, whole grain, processed vs. natural, etc. They bought themselves pedometers last week. Avery had wanted one for a long time and she finally bit the bullet and bought a cheap one (and Sadie decided to follow suit).

Skinny shirt.

Avery: "That shirt makes you look skinnier than you really are."

Me: "Ummm, thanks?"

Avery saved herself by quickly saying: "I mean, you're alrighty plenty skinny anyway, but that shirt makes you look even skinnier."

 

 

Die for the Truth.

"It's better to die for the truth than to live for a lie." Those were Avery's words this afternoon as we were talking about standing up for what you know is right. I have no idea where she heard that from, but I thought it was a very insightful addition to our discussion.

Walk & Talks.

At one point in my life, I was known for my obnoxious questions. You know, the prying, I want to know you better, kinds of questions. Thankfully for my current friends, I have laid off the interrogation style of friendship. Now it is mostly reserved for my children. Lucky for me, my children actually enjoy my questioning.

I'm kinda obsessed with games, journals, etc. that ask a lot of questions. Have you ever had one of those "All About Me" journals? I have one somewhere, and I don't think I've ever written a darn thing in it, but I love it because it gives me ideas of questions to ask other people. I'm always keeping my eye out for games or books in this vein...relational stuff.

When we go on roadtrips as a family, we always have little pocket games like "KidTalk" or "Family Talk" in the bag o' travel fun.  One of my favorites is "Kid's Choices" which poses a dilemma and then asks what you would do in that situation. These are excellent for talking to your kids about how to make choices, moral dilemmas, etc. We've passed many a mile of family vacation with these conversation starters. (I bought these on homeschool websites, so if you are interested, you could check Rainbow Resource, Timberdoodle, Love to Learn, etc).

My friend's (Mike) mom (Kerrie) was in a thrift store and came across this game, "Personal Preference". She picked it up for me and it has been my favorite game ever since. I don't think you can buy it anymore unless you could dig it up on eBay. She found it for me over a decade ago and it was really old even then. If you come over for dinner, I'll pull it out and let you play :)

Several years ago, we were at a Christmas Eve party at my brother's house and he had an "If..." book on the coffeetable. There are several of these books available, and they basically ask questions like, "If you could go back in time, as yourself, to observe any single event from history, what would you want to witness?" Each page is filled with these "if" questions. We spent a good chunk of that party asking one another questions, and then I went home and ordered my own book because I loved it so much.

The girls and I go on LOTS of walks and hikes. So a couple summers ago, we started calling them, "Walk & Talks" because I would always be asking the girls questions. It took some time for them (well, Sadie) to realize that it isn't really about the question being asked, but more about the conversation that comes about as a result of the question. The question is just a jumping-off point. Avery loves to talk, so this concept came easily to her. Sadie, on the other hand, is a lot like her mama and she has a tendency to give short, to-the-point answers. She has to be prodded & information pulled from her, at times. I have to laugh at how crazy this can make me because I know one of my best friends in the world hates this exact same thing about me.

Anyhow, I'm getting off course. A few months ago, we went on a Walk & Talk. I was having an off day. I had a headache, and truth be known, I would have been content to let the girls walk ahead of me while I listened to my iPod, lost in my own thoughts. But the girls were eager for my questions, so I obliged them. Apparently Avery could tell that my heart wasn't in it that day because she commented to me that my questions were "boring" that day. Can't sneak anything past kids these days :)

So I decided that I better come better prepared the next time. The next time, I had written down questions to ask them (pillow talk questions I had found on a parenting website). And then I found a version of Family Talk that was on a handy dandy ring that I could clip right to a bag. That has been going along on our walks lately.

I don't think that I could even convey the value that I've found in these little "walk & talks". Such a simple thing, talking to your kids. But I am so intensely convinced of the power of communicating on a deep level with my girls. It is important for the present, for knowing what they are thinking about right now, what concerns them and so forth, but I am even more concerned about being sure that the lines of communication are wide open as they approach their teen years. It is my goal to make sure that they know they can talk to me about anything, that I'm always available. If you would have told me when my kids were babies that I would be having the deep, insightful, thought-provoking conversations with my kids that I'm having now, I would have doubted you. But the truth is, at eight and nine years old, kids have a capacity for understanding much more than we realize. I've always been big on not talking to my kids in babytalk (though for some reason I still do that to other people's babies); I've always said, "You get what you expect"; and I feel like many parents have a tendency to dumb-down their kids. Yes, they are kids. But if you give them the opportunity, they might amaze you with what they have going on in their head and in their heart. I've been brought to tears by their sensitivity to others; I've been convicted by their words; I've been motivated to be better because they notice everything, nothing escapes them; I've been challenged to learn more because far too often, I don't have the answers. I love my girlies so much, and I am so humbled by them every time we share these talks with each other.

Now, if you'll excuse me, we have a walk & talk scheduled at 2:00pm.

 

Piano Players.

A couple photos from a month or two ago, getting ready to go to their piano recital. We've been so proud of Sadie and Avery's devotion and discipline in their piano playing. They're both doing a great job, and they gave excellent performances at their recital. Sadie practices a minimum of 40 minutes a day, 6-7 days a week. Avery practices a minimum of 30 minutes a day, 6-7 days a week. Makes me proud that they excel at something in which I have absolutely no skill or ability.

Rosey's Funeral.

Rosey, our chinchilla, passed away on Monday, March 19. You often hear about husbands and wives that will die within a short time of one another. When Pepper (Rosey's companion) died in July of 2010, we really didn't think that Rosey would last much longer. Chinchillas (much like humans) like companionship, and Rosey and Pepper had been together a long time. Also, they were getting pretty old, as chinchillas go.

But still, it was sad when Rosey died. Avery went downstairs Monday afternoon to clean out the cage (one of Monday's chore duties) and reappeared a short time later sobbing and a complete wreck. Avery is very nurturing, loyal, very emotionally committed. So needless to say, she was devastated by the loss of her dear Rosey. Sadie responded in her usual way...lots of silent tears, reserved emotion. As much as she loved Rosey, I think she was stirred equally as much by Avery's pain; Sadie knows better than anyone just how much Avery loved Rosey and Pepper.

After an hour or so of crying, the girls pulled themselves together and carried on. They have spoken of Rosey a fair amount this week, but they've grieved Rosey's death better than Pepper's death.

I dug the hole for the burial, but then Seth brought the box out and I realized the box was much bigger than I realized, so Seth had to enlarge the hole.

The girls picked a bunch of greenery to put on top of the box (apparently to make it pretty) while debating with me about whether animals have souls.

Seth placed Rosey in the ground and then Avery read something she had written for Rosey, then she placed the note in the ground.

Then the girls filled in the hole again.

 We will miss you, Rosey.

Popia.

My kids are always writing things on my shopping list which hangs on the fridge. It always makes me smile when I get to the store after dropping them off at piano lessons every Wednesday, and I start to read the items they've added to my list. I would say that 90% of what they add is fruit. For the most part, I have no problem reading what they've written (thankfully, both girls got my spelling genes). But most recently, I saw "popia" on the list and it took me a minute to decipher what exactly Avery was desiring. Thankfully, it was the second week in a row that it had been on the list (Sadie wrote it the first time and it was spelled correctly), so I figured it out after a little thought: popia=papaya!!!

Funnies.

Quotes from Avery:

"Has there ever been a time when I wasn't funny?"

"I know she's trying to be funny, but she is struggling."

"Don't worry, mom; they're Christian, so we can trust them." (I had to have a talk with her about this one)

"Poisonberry jam? Why would they make jam with poison in it?" (Me: "It is boysenberry jam, not poisonberry." The man that was stocking the shelf behind us was very amused by this interaction).

 

 

 

Contrite heart.

There are moments as a mother that make everything seem so worth it. I had one of those moments today. As a mom, you can usually tell when your child has lied to you. Thankfully, my children don't lie much. Or maybe they just aren't getting caught, and I'm not as wise as I think I am.

After discerning that Avery had likely lied to me, I confronted her and asked if she had lied. She immediately confessed that she had indeed lied to me. I addressed it with her and we talked about the importance of telling the truth while we went about our business of making lunch. At one point, I looked up and saw that she was crying and I was a little surprised...we weren't having a harsh conversation, just talking about the value of trust and honesty, etc. The issue at hand wasn't one of huge significance. I told her that I forgave her and we finished up our lunch and she disappeared.

I was in my office a little while later when Avery appeared in the doorway, face swollen, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, "I'm sorry I lied to you, mama." This tenderhearted mama about melted right off the chair. Avery was clearly just so broken-hearted that she had lied to me. We had addressed the issue and I had moved on, but my sweet girl still didn't have a clear conscience. Avery's deception had a much larger impact on her than it had on me.  Her sobs just kept coming. After discussing that lying brings about a loss of trust and a separation in a relationship, she told me that it also causes guilt. Bless her heart.

After telling her again that I forgave her, discussing repentance and telling her that we could put this behind us and that God loves a contrite heart, I could tell she wasn't to a place of closure yet. I said, "You asked me for forgiveness, did you ask God?" She shook her head "no." I asked her if she wanted to do it on her own or if she wanted to do it with me. She preferred to do it with me, so I told her to go ahead and pray.

She was short and to the point, but her heart was contrite and it broke me up to be reminded by my 8 year old of what a broken and contrite heart looks like. Sometimes we can be so callous to our sin. We can say the right words, but our hearts and minds are far from God if we are honest with ourselves. I'm thankful that through Avery's brokenness, I can be reminded to take my own sin seriously and to fall before God in humble repentance.

"I'm sorry that I lied to my mama. I won't do it ever again. Please help me to be honest in the future. In Jesus' name."

 

For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

-Psalm 51:16-17

 

Workout Partner.

During our workout today, Avery said, "It doesn't come for free!!" It makes me laugh that she works out with me so much that she has memorized all the quips of the trainers. I love having her by my side when I work out. Today during a particularly grueling circuit, she told me, "If I can do it, you can do it!" She is a great training partner.