There are moments as a mother that make everything seem so worth it. I had one of those moments today. As a mom, you can usually tell when your child has lied to you. Thankfully, my children don't lie much. Or maybe they just aren't getting caught, and I'm not as wise as I think I am.
After discerning that Avery had likely lied to me, I confronted her and asked if she had lied. She immediately confessed that she had indeed lied to me. I addressed it with her and we talked about the importance of telling the truth while we went about our business of making lunch. At one point, I looked up and saw that she was crying and I was a little surprised...we weren't having a harsh conversation, just talking about the value of trust and honesty, etc. The issue at hand wasn't one of huge significance. I told her that I forgave her and we finished up our lunch and she disappeared.
I was in my office a little while later when Avery appeared in the doorway, face swollen, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, "I'm sorry I lied to you, mama." This tenderhearted mama about melted right off the chair. Avery was clearly just so broken-hearted that she had lied to me. We had addressed the issue and I had moved on, but my sweet girl still didn't have a clear conscience. Avery's deception had a much larger impact on her than it had on me. Her sobs just kept coming. After discussing that lying brings about a loss of trust and a separation in a relationship, she told me that it also causes guilt. Bless her heart.
After telling her again that I forgave her, discussing repentance and telling her that we could put this behind us and that God loves a contrite heart, I could tell she wasn't to a place of closure yet. I said, "You asked me for forgiveness, did you ask God?" She shook her head "no." I asked her if she wanted to do it on her own or if she wanted to do it with me. She preferred to do it with me, so I told her to go ahead and pray.
She was short and to the point, but her heart was contrite and it broke me up to be reminded by my 8 year old of what a broken and contrite heart looks like. Sometimes we can be so callous to our sin. We can say the right words, but our hearts and minds are far from God if we are honest with ourselves. I'm thankful that through Avery's brokenness, I can be reminded to take my own sin seriously and to fall before God in humble repentance.
"I'm sorry that I lied to my mama. I won't do it ever again. Please help me to be honest in the future. In Jesus' name."
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
-Psalm 51:16-17
What a sweet post. And angelic picture.
Posted by: tori | Sunday, February 19, 2012 at 12:12 AM